funny…just saw that in 2014, I’d said that the reason I didn’t attempt a lot of self-portraits was because I was the one person that I was least in a position to take a photo of. (in just a small note about a selfie.) now, the (improvement and fine-tuning of the) selfie camera on phones has not only made this no longer the case, but it’s almost made the opposite true – at least concerning head and shoulders portraits. we may now be our own most accessible subjects.
Category Archives: Model
“All your life /
You’ve been waiting to be free /
Trade your pride for ecstasy /
That’ll make you /
Reach the sky” – Sadeness (Part II)
What do you think? …I’ve noticed both the song and the music video have had mixed reactions from hardcore fans. I don’t know how to to talk about music, so I won’t say anything about the song. Some fans have asked if there’s a version of the video without pixelated-private-parts. Well I haven’t come across one. I guess I could start claiming that that’s actually just what I look like naked.
The story in the music video has two characters – a dark, brooding monk and a mysterious seductive woman. You’ll notice that I played the latter. At first the mysterious woman is a luring temptress.
The monk takes her to his decadent den of dark desires.
Now the woman is a prisoner.
There is some inevitable running away and chasing.
And an ultimate fight between good and evil.
And in the end, it turns out…well, I shouldn’t spoil it. So I guess you should just watch the video.
© 2016 Baloo Music S.A., under exclusive license to Polydor/Island, a division of Universal Music GmbH Continue reading
Ah, memories of this Icelandic adventure with Dave Rudin and Nadine Stevens…send shivers down my spine. 😆 Because of the epic scenery, of course.
The clang of the age-old god speech /
May it forever play, young and free /
Under the northern lights…
I’ve been away from posting for a couple of weeks (in part because I was away from home for a few days recently), so I’m coming back with a couple of photos of a couple of models in Iceland – Rebecca and Nadine.
These were made during my 2014 trip to Iceland, and I’ve posted some photos with Nadine there previously. However, on the occasion of these photos, I was working with Rebecca for the first time. She had been planning to visit Iceland from her home in England and very kindly arranged her schedule so that she could work with me for a couple of days.
The location is a well known waterfall located near one of the major towns on Iceland’s south coast. As Rebecca had only arrived to meet us late in the morning, we had to make our photos here in the…
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Not that anyone asked, but Leonard Cohen was a kindred spirit to me for the following reason. I felt that he was someone who had a predator spirit, but was clearly self-conscious about it, just like me. I felt that his songs spoke to those like me who are susceptible to making other humans their muses, to deriving ‘inspiration’ from humans they find beautiful, to roving and waiting like hungry wolves. Sometimes I see what I am and I say that I and my kind are a pestilence upon the innocent earth (Radiohead’s ‘creeps’ and ‘weirdos’ lol). But Leonard Cohen taught me to meditate on my objectifying instincts to make them into self-aware acts dignified enough to be shared with the muse, in principle or in practice. ‘We are ugly, but we have the music,’ he said. I guess he took this sublimation to its logical extreme in ‘If It Be Your Will’, making an act of admiration into a form of totally submissive worship. At the other end of the spectrum, he taught me not to overstate inspiration (‘that’s all, I don’t even think of you that often’). To me, the same thread ran through all of his lyrics about desire – a painfully strong intention to say, and to only say, something true. His comments on the mundane and the sublime are cut from the same cloth.
I’m not entirely sure what made me start writing this but (and now I apologize for possibly turning this into another boring-ass 2016 socio-political facebook fart) it might be because I believe it’s easier for me as a woman to be confessional about my predatory spirit (I’ve never been chastised about ‘the female gaze’), and I do like to speak up (if and) only if I can say something I think other people aren’t saying. Of course, I can only speak for myself. But I think what I mean to say is that Cohen, among others, has helped me deal with my masculinity, and for that I’m supremely grateful.
My job means that I’ve regularly worked with (mostly male) photographers and artists for most of the last decade, so the male gaze has, for better or worse, ended up being one of my primary objects of casual study throughout my adult life, haha. ‘Let me see your beauty broken down,’ it says to me during my typical working day, ‘as you would do, for one you love’. I’ve learned to deal with this request with more compassion as I recognize with increasing sensitivity that the roving poets and I are the same creatures. It dawns on me anew every day that, despite what people like to say about male desire being ‘simple’, which perhaps it is, I’ve nevertheless been fortunate enough to discover the sheer variety in the relationships men have with their desire – one of the most complex and fascinating things I’ve come across in nature. I’m grateful that Leonard Cohen shared this aspect of his nature with with such clarity.
So thank you, Mr. Cohen for teaching me to handle inspiration with dignity, to take my subject matter seriously and not myself, and to strive for truthfulness at all costs in my ongoing attempts to convert my human desires and longings into something worth sharing.
My pink polka-dot jumper is sadly no longer with us – although its remains do live on in tiny pieces, for example in the form of some home-made buttons for which I was on the receiving end of cruel teasing from at least one of my siblings (though not as cruel as the teasing I was subjected to over the actual sweater, during its heyday). These photographs from 2013 by Ronnie The Dux Medal are special because you can see here the origin of the item’s demise – the fraying armpit (which, at the time, provided a convenient viewing window for when I wanted to show people my armpit’s first hairstyle involving the presence of hair).
images © The Dux Medal | May 2013
model, hair, make-up, styling by me
In case you’ve ever wondered where some of my stranger image titles/captions in various places around teh web come from, I’ve decided it’s time to let you all know – and I’ve mentioned it before but you may not have gotten that memo – that they don’t come from my deranged imagination fully formed, not at all – they’re only based on the contents of my brain. They are in fact Markov-chain generated, based on one- and two-word units from everything I’ve ever written on Facebook. It’s all thanks to a brilliant piece of software developed by some nerds at Princeton, who created http://www.what-would-i-say.com for the benefit of mankind. It’s great fun, fascinating if you’re into statistics, linguistics or algorithms, and of course a very useful resource for a lazy absurdist.