my musings on the Cohen today

Not that anyone asked, but Leonard Cohen was a kindred spirit to me for the following reason. I felt that he was someone who had a predator spirit, but was clearly self-conscious about it, just like me. I felt that his songs spoke to those like me who are susceptible to making other humans their muses, to deriving ‘inspiration’ from humans they find beautiful, to roving and waiting like hungry wolves. Sometimes I see what I am and I say that I and my kind are a pestilence upon the innocent earth (Radiohead’s ‘creeps’ and ‘weirdos’ lol). But Leonard Cohen taught me to meditate on my objectifying instincts to make them into self-aware acts dignified enough to be shared with the muse, in principle or in practice. ‘We are ugly, but we have the music,’ he said. I guess he took this sublimation to its logical extreme in ‘If It Be Your Will’, making an act of admiration into a form of totally submissive worship. At the other end of the spectrum, he taught me not to overstate inspiration (‘that’s all, I don’t even think of you that often’). To me, the same thread ran through all of his lyrics about desire – a painfully strong intention to say, and to only say, something true. His comments on the mundane and the sublime are cut from the same cloth.
I’m not entirely sure what made me start writing this but (and now I apologize for possibly turning this into another boring-ass 2016 socio-political facebook fart) it might be because I believe it’s easier for me as a woman to be confessional about my predatory spirit (I’ve never been chastised about ‘the female gaze’), and I do like to speak up (if and) only if I can say something I think other people aren’t saying. Of course, I can only speak for myself. But I think what I mean to say is that Cohen, among others, has helped me deal with my masculinity, and for that I’m supremely grateful.
My job means that I’ve regularly worked with (mostly male) photographers and artists for most of the last decade, so the male gaze has, for better or worse, ended up being one of my primary objects of casual study throughout my adult life, haha. 😊 ‘Let me see your beauty broken down,’ it says to me during my typical working day, ‘as you would do, for one you love’. I’ve learned to deal with this request with more compassion as I recognize with increasing sensitivity that the roving poets and I are the same creatures. It dawns on me anew every day that, despite what people like to say about male desire being ‘simple’, which perhaps it is, I’ve nevertheless been fortunate enough to discover the sheer variety in the relationships men have with their desire – one of the most complex and fascinating things I’ve come across in nature. I’m grateful that Leonard Cohen shared this aspect of his nature with with such clarity.
So thank you, Mr. Cohen for teaching me to handle inspiration with dignity, to take my subject matter seriously and not myself, and to strive for truthfulness at all costs in my ongoing attempts to convert my human desires and longings into something worth sharing. 😉


me pink polka-dot jumper

My pink polka-dot jumper is sadly no longer with us – although its remains do live on in tiny pieces, for example in the form of some home-made buttons for which I was on the receiving end of cruel teasing from at least one of my siblings (though not as cruel as the teasing I was subjected to over the actual sweater, during its heyday). These photographs from 2013 by Ronnie The Dux Medal are special because you can see here the origin of the item’s demise – the fraying armpit (which, at the time, provided a convenient viewing window for when I wanted to show people my armpit’s first hairstyle involving the presence of hair).

images © The Dux Medal | May 2013
model, hair, make-up, styling by me
Berlin, Germany


Rorschach-style monster shadow

At this point, even I thought I was pretty weird. One morgen I woke up and saw the need to make a Rorschach-style monster shadow-selfie around the vertex where the cups cupboard met the fridge – as one does. I saw it as as disembodied type of yogic sunrise meditation.

 

Today it reminds me of an earlier point in my life when I was only able to express myself through shadows…

995300_10151508571882956_45260560_n


twin cheeks

I would simply like to make the following casual comparison observation regarding two different photo composites by different photographers at different times.

These are ‘Blue Moon’ by Max Operandi, 2012, and ‘Moon Worship’ by Thornback, 2014.

I suppose I’m happy to be typecast as the disembodied melancholy blue bottom.

Moon Worship

‘Moon Worship’ (c) Thornback, 2014

‘Blue Moon’ (c) Max Operandi, 2012

‘Blue Moon’ (c) Max Operandi, 2012


Zeitgeber starring Gestalta

During a sweeping visit back to Blighy in July 2013, I went to Wiltshire and experimented with taking video footage on a Canon 5DmkII with a Lensbaby Muse.  Consequently here’s a little atmospheric semi-narrative music video for my friend Eigenfrequenz’s song ‘Frequenz 18: Zeitgeber’, starring Gestalta as (according to my ad hoc analysis) a “romantic but morbid girl, a bit of a loner, lost in her own world and somewhat obsessed with death” floating around in the swelteringly hot rural English summer meadows thinking dark thoughts. Continue reading


“Models. Der Film” – a documentary by Leif Allendorf

This is the trailer for ‘Models. Der Film’, a documentary by Leif Allendorf about four different models living and working in Berlin – Jenny Jane, Melanie Unrau, Nadya Wendt and me. The movie involves interviews and some footage of each model at work. In this version my voice is dubbed into Deutsch. Continue reading


a whole hour on Google Maps zooming into the Klingon Dictionary

In case you’ve ever wondered where some of my stranger image titles/captions in various places around teh web come from, I’ve decided it’s time to let you all know – and I’ve mentioned it before but you may not have gotten that memo – that they don’t come from my deranged imagination fully formed, not at all – they’re only based on the contents of my brain. They are in fact Markov-chain generated, based on one- and two-word units from everything I’ve ever written on Facebook. It’s all thanks to a brilliant piece of software developed by some nerds at Princeton, who created http://www.what-would-i-say.com for the benefit of mankind. It’s great fun, fascinating if you’re into statistics, linguistics or algorithms, and of course a very useful resource for a lazy absurdist.


Mary Martin London Fashion Show – David Bowie tribute

A blog post by Elena Tun

We were beyond excited when we were invited to Mary Martin’s fashion show in tribute to David Bowie. We were also curious to see how she would pull it off; few pop and fashion icons are adored and revered as much as Bowie, so it is a difficult inspiration to live up to. Continue reading


Teeside Artist

…this article by Sinclair Gordon talks about Andy Green’s fantasy and location photography. I appear here in some of Andy’s most recent (2014) work: ‘MAIDEN GUARD’, ‘NETS AND SHADOWS’, and my own favourite ‘NOR TODAY MR WOLF’ [sic – let’s assume the wolf had been pestering me on more than one occasion], as well as many of my esteemed model peers such as Ivory Flame, Raphaella, Ella Rose and Roswell Ivory, to mention just a few.

sinclairgordon2012

ANDY GREEN Teeside artist, Andy Green, has now re-located to Bohouse, http://www.bohouse.eu/ the Tees Valley’s first bespoke live/work development, where he intends to continue and further develop his art.  This, the third installment to feature on ‘Sinclairgordon2012’, is in the editors opinion, some of his strongest imagery to date.

Spirit of the Moors Spirit of the Moors

The World The World

Classical Nude Classical Nude

Cosmic Mantra Cosmic Mantra

Down the Rabbit Hole Down the Rabbit Hole

Dreaming - Pretty in Pink Dreaming – Pretty in Pink

Evening Gold Evening Gold

Ivory Ivory

Lady of Cythera Lady of Cythera

Maiden Guard Maiden Guard

Nets and Shadows Nets and Shadows

Nor Today Mr Wolf Nor Today Mr Wolf

Odalisque Odalisque

Out of the Shadows Out of the Shadows

Siren Siren

The World 2 The World 2

1.  Spirit of the Moors – Ivory Flame

2.  The World – Raphaella WithLove

3.  Classical Nude – Ivory Flame

4.  Cosmic Mantra – Dani-Elle

5.  Down the Rabbit Hole – Katie Jane

6.  Dreaming Pretty in Pink – Gemma F

7.  Evening Gold – Tatie

8.  Ivory – Ivory Flame

9.  Lady of Cythera – Ella Rose…

View original post 68 more words


Share a shoot / ‘A walk around Bristol with Rebecca Tun’ / PurplePort →

‘A walk around Bristol with Rebecca Tun’

photographer Tym a.k.a.

TiNY Images

writes:
“the plan was simple, just walk around the centre of Bristol and react and shoot what we find. […] Rebecca is a truly awesome model to work with, i just love her looks, she always look like she has something to say and you want to listen.”

Continue reading