Tag Archives: absurd

a whole hour on Google Maps zooming into the Klingon Dictionary

In case you’ve ever wondered where some of my stranger image titles/captions in various places around teh web come from, I’ve decided it’s time to let you all know – and I’ve mentioned it before but you may not have gotten that memo – that they don’t come from my deranged imagination fully formed, not at all – they’re only based on the contents of my brain. They are in fact Markov-chain generated, based on one- and two-word units from everything I’ve ever written on Facebook. It’s all thanks to a brilliant piece of software developed by some nerds at Princeton, who created http://www.what-would-i-say.com for the benefit of mankind. It’s great fun, fascinating if you’re into statistics, linguistics or algorithms, and of course a very useful resource for a lazy absurdist.


I definitely win in water.

i had a very clear idea of what i wanted the software to do – the architects’ software that would enable me to design the world’s greatest swimming pool. it was more than a swimming pool actually; it was to be a sprawling, endless network of curvilinear waterway tunnels, circular halls, enclaves, coves, caves, caverns, cascades, chutes, falls and flumes; a vast, intricate complex of diverse spaces and environments, mostly indoors and dark like a cinema or a nightclub, although there would be airier, daylight-filled spaces to be discovered unpredictably throughout the way. it would have environments to appeal to people of all ages and temperaments, different spaces and modes for every mood. Continue reading


a modern poem: ra ra Rasputin, lover of stones with stripes

ra ra Rasputin, lover of stones with stripes.

He was a bankrobber but he never hurt nobody.

ra ra Rasputin, lover of stones with stripes.

He just very interesting. He just loved to steal your children.

ra ra Rasputin, lover of stones with stripes.

Spock in bed, ray of time, eminently practical garb.

ra ra Rasputin, lover of stones with stripes.

Some natives at the airport and the propanol in the shrubs. Continue reading


wouldn’t it be biscuity

(…which contained a mosquito against my laptop and made my picture froggy.)

Continue reading